OMG! Haven't written a post in AGES!

Sorry Guys! I forgot my email and my password so i haven't been able to get on to this god damn blog! D: Night mare!  I also have only just got internet!!

Anyway.. 

SOOO much stuff has happened recently! 

I feel like i've been soo busy and i have had no spare time to myself.. Lies

On the 24th of april i moved into my newww house :D YES! finally rid of my asshole flat, with asshole neighbors, with asshole landlord and into my cosy two bedroom house, with lovely neighbors and what appears a lovely landlord. There is some light at the end of the tunnel!

THEN! a week after we had moved in, Kyle got a job in a news agents called McColls which is just A-ma-ZING! 

And now I've finished my college course, and ended up with a distinction in all of my courses. I so clever eyyy? :P 


BLARG!

So much to write so little time! 


Ethan is now on solids..
Oh what a glorious phase! 
Mess...Everywhere!

Moar fud plz!

Here is a photo for you all to be like 'Awwwhh, cutey' at, :P

He loves mango's, and mash tatties!

Not every keen on sweet potato though! He thinks it yucky,  But experts say that it takes 10 tastes for our bodies to actually know if we like it or not.. So i will persevere.  It literally just ends up everywhere except in ethans mouth..

Anyway, It's very late, I'll probably write again tomorrow now that i know i can get on. 


Toddle pipx

Getting my life back on track..

I don't know what is wrong with me recently, My motivation has gone out the window, I do nothing.. I have the same routine which basically revolves around Ethan. I haven't been food shopping in weeks.. Just stay at home, read books, feed Ethan, Play with Ethan, Change Ethan etc. It really gets on top of you, which is why I'm probably feeling so down. I haven't even been to my favourite baby group in a while!

On Friday, i thought.. No.. I'm not going to just sit here all day, I'm going to go for a walk with Kyle and Ethan get some fresh air.. I'm not going to accept that i have a flat instead of a house, I'm not going to allow myself to fail college because I'm unmotivated to do the work. I AM determined to prove people wrong and become the best mother, student, girlfriend, friend, and daughter i can be! and that is what I'm doing.

In the past two days, i have found a house for me and kyle to move into. (It's cute!) :D. I've complete 3 assignments... Currently taking a break to update this, before starting another one, I've cleaning out my wardrobe getting rid of the crap i do not want, cleaned everywhere and i have taken control of my life! 

i am now a better me.

I have to thank my dad for this, because if he was not an judgmental a**hole, then i wouldn't be so motivated to prove him wrong. I would feel that my life is complete the way it is, i would have defiantly quit college by now if it wasn't for his disapproving  way of making me feel shit. so for that i say thank you. 

Like i said, this is only a quick update as more college work is needed to be done :(  

But i shall leave you with a cute picture of Ethan :) 

hiho hiho, it's off to work i go. 

xx

My Labour And Birth Story.

When you have a baby, and go through labour and birth, it's like you can't stop talking about it.. no matter how horrific or painful, it becomes on of the best moments of your life because it's the moment your child is born.

Ever since my labour i haven't been able to stop talking about it, i love listening to other people's stories and experiences, No labour is the same and it's just amazing how your body works, so here is my labour story.

My due date was the 12th of November (12/11/12), and like most women i didn't go into labour, and was convinced that Ethan wasn't going to come any time soon, as every first mum i had spoke to have told me then went 2 weeks over and had to be induced, So on the morning of my due date i had a midwife appointment, which was basic antenatal check ups, and to have a sweep. I was literally crapping myself for the sweep, i didn't know what to expect and having some woman perform one on me was pretty embarrassing!  But i gritted my teeth, and thought 'I can do this now, and have 70% chance of the baby come soon, or wait another two weeks', So i had one. Not the most pleasant of things, and it was slightly painful, but it wasn't too bad. 

The midwife said that my cervix was far forward which is uncommon in first time pregnancies, that it was soft and stretchy, and already 2cm dilated  She said that i might experience a show, but if not then i could still go into labour. 

So as i believe i have no good luck, i thought to myself.. 'Nope, this wont make me go into labour, so bugger it' and me and Kyle went into a cafe for some din dins, i had a cheese and onion toasty.. Yum yum. Luckily i didn't go into labour :P haha.. would have been VERY embarrassing. 

Few hours pass..  I experience nothing.. Not even a few cramps. 

So me and Kyle settle down to watch an episode of walking dead, while eating dinner, Tuna, Pasta and sweetcorn. I felt like i needed a wee, so i popped to the toliet, and just as i sat down my waters broke.. Instant panic! i shouted for kyle.. and sounded like a babbling idiot 'i...i...i..th..think..mmmmyy...wat..ers..brroo...broke' so i got up expecting that to be all my waters.. Boy was i wrong.. I walked into the living room and all of a sudden a gush of water and my floor and trousers were soaked! So i literally sat on the toliet so that my floor would stay dry haha.  This was about half 6 - 7 o'clock. So i told kyle to pass me the phone so i could ring the emergency midwife number. Annoyingly, i had to go into labour when one of my midwifes weren't on call (i had 4).. and had some random one from a town an hour away. 

I told her that my waters had broke but i was experiencing no contractions. She told me to eat, and try get as much sleep as possible, and if my contractions hadn't come by 9 o'clock tomorrow, she will send someone out to look at me, and get me induced.  They do that because  there is a chance of infection if the waters are broke for more than 12 hours. 

So we sat back down and i forced myself to eat my pasta, rung my mum and text my best friend, aspen, as she had gone through labour a few months before. 

I was feeling excited, and scared  I had never been through this before so i didn't know what to expect. Will it be like a painful period or will it be like stomach pain? Neither.. It was worse. aha

My contractions started about an hour after, they weren't to uncomfortable and thought that maybe i should put the immersion on so i can have a bath. After an hour, i jumped into the bath, at this point my contractions were VERY painful, and already very close together. I stayed in the bath for an hour, while trying to be brave. Kyle was very supportive at this point, and i couldn't fault him. He was calm, and that was what i needed. He collected all the bags, put food and drink into a plastic bag, and sat next to the bath to comfort me. 

My contractions were coming very strong, with only 30 seconds - 1 minute gaps, so kyle rung the midwife back and said that they have become regular and painful. As she was an hour away, she said she would make her way to my birth center, and would ring me when she was there. I then tried to get out of the bath, Yes tried. It's hard enough when pregnant.. but while having contractions.. wow.. it's near enough impossible. 

I rung my mum and demanded that she come down, as we needed her car to get us to the birth center.. walking there would not have been fun. 

So an painfully long hour passed, and Caris (the midwife) rung me to say she was there, kyle and mum packed all the things in the car as i attempted to walk down two flights of stairs across the street and into her car.. this took about half an hour as i have the worse contraction ever on the top of my external stair case right outside my neighbours door, luckily they didn't come outside. 

I was praying to god that the midwife wouldn't send me home, as i don't think i would have been able to make it up the stairs!

When we got the center at about 9 o'clock, she gave me some gas and air just so that she could see how far long dilated i was, I was already 7cm.

Gas and air really didn't suit me to begin with as i threw up all of my pasta that i had earlier forced myself to eat, but after a few more breaths i got used to it. 

As caris started filling up the birthing pool, i sat and watched im a celebrity on the big plasma television which i had all to myself.. Not that i actually watched it.. i was in way to much pain. Finally the pool, was full and i could get in.

And ohmygod... it was divine. It was soo warm and it was very deep.. combined with gas and air, i felt hardly any pain. About half an hour later i had urges to push, i had no clue what was going on.. My midwife had disappeared looking for some keys, and was no where to seen, so i, like most women, became very emotional and started to cry.. haha!

at about half 11 caris told me that is i didn't get out of the pool now, i wouldn't be getting out at all.. I refused obviously :P After 40 minutes of pushing, My little sunshine was born. 

He was born on the 13th of November, at 00:16, weighing 7.5lbs

Throughout my labour, i was munching on bourbon buscuits, and drinking orange juice. I had bought energy drink, Doritos and all sorts,, but because my labour was only 5 hours long, i didn't really have time. haha! 

I can't remember the first night, i had with him because i was soo tired, and out of it.. but i don't think he woke up till 6.

The weird thing about labour, is as soon as the contractions had stopped i had completely forgotten the pain. It was all worth it though. 

This little bundle is now my whole life.

Young mums group..Urgh

What the hell did my health visitor convince me to go too..  URGH. 

"it's a group for young parents under 25, everyone is really nice, and it's alot of fun"

Oh really? you liar!

I recently found out that in my nearest town there is a young parents group, which my health visitor convinced me was going to be a good idea to pop along to so i could meet mums + dad my age. After ALOT of thinking i finally convinced myself yeah, maybe it would be a good idea to make some friends with babies who i can talk to... i don't know what i expected but, that group was a nightmare!

I got there about half one (which is what my health visitor said it started at which was a lie.. it started at one) and couldnt get into the building! After looking like a kn*b for ages trying to open a door, i finally got into the building, and was greeted by no one so i had no idea where to go.. just literally walked down a corridor until i saw someone who looked young. 

When i got into the room, there were 5 girls, and one guy. Two girls were stereotypical teenage mums.. i was embarrassed to be associated with them to be honest! i know it sounds bad.. but it's people like them that put a bad name to young mums! they both smoked, were mean, + looked rough! After talking to both for ONLY 5 minutes i found out they both smoked, drank + took drugs while pregnant. INSTANT DISLIKE!  So i walked away from them and sat by myself with ethan for a while waiting for 3 o'clock.  

I then noticed that two girls across the room looked decent, and nice and was determined to start talking to them,  so i did.. wow.. they were really dumb,  i could barely talk to them! im not trying to be stuck up or something, but im not stupid, i've got two a's and on b at a level (before you think wow.. her english skills are crap how did she get them.. English isn't my strong point ;)  )  so i like to have some intellectual conversation.. nope, it just wasn't going to happen. 

So i only have two people left to impress me so that i come to the group more often, and they were a couple with a month and a half old baby.. and actually the girl wasn't too bad, but they just weren't my sort of people tbh.

Another failed attempted at a baby group, BUT atleast im making friends in my normal baby group :D

YAY. :) x

Ethan on the way to the group :)

Prams, Prams, and More Prams.

I am one of these mums that get bored of prams very easily, I've had 3 already, and my baby is only 3 months old! D: i am Terrrible. 
Each pram i have bought is second hand because i feel it is pointless to buy them new when as soon as you use them, their value just goes.. Similar to cars i suppose :) 

The hardest part is picking a pram when you are first pregnant expecting your first baby, because to be honest you don't have a clue what to get, a light pram? a travel system? a 3 wheeler? You have to keep a few things in mind before going out and purchasing the nicest looking one, because thats what i did. 

I use public transport alot, live in a second floor flat, have little storage space, yet i thought it was a clever idea to buy a bit bulky travel system.. why?! i have no idea.. i was naive, and silly.. if i could go back to when i was pregnant, knowing what i do now.. then i would have saved that money + got a more compact, light weight buggy, + a seperate car seat. 

Snug as a bug in a rug

Like, it is a very sexy travel system, and if i had more room in my flat, i would have used it and not bought two more prams, but alas i don't have room. 

Review of my Mamas and Papas Travel System (bought second hand for £100).
        The frame itself is very light, and i like that about this pram. It folds down easily, and becomes quite thin, but not very compact. It stands alone when folded which i also like, as i don't have to place it on the floor when getting stuff out of my car. The shopping basket is HUGE! and i can fit a lot in there! It's nice to push, and very sturdy. As my baby was born in winter, i thought it would be a good idea to get a carry cot for when i go out and about to shelter him from wind + the cold. With this travel system i had a stand which all the units connect to, so i used the carry cot in my living room as a second moses basket when Ethan was a newborn so that i could keep an eye on him while doing chores, or watching tele. The only thing i dislike about travel systems is that you can't fold them down together as one piece, which means i have to leave the frame downstairs, while i run the unit to my flat, then go back downstairs for the frame, THEN i have to go back downstairs to get shopping in, and the baby from out of the car. I also dislike that it took up a lot of boot space, which meant i have no room for shopping, or anything else. 

The second pram i purchased was the Mamas and Papas Luna, Which i loveee! 

Alot more roomy for him to snoozee

Review of my Mamas and Papas Luna Pushchair (bought second hand for £40)

    I love this pushchair very much, it's a delight to push, it's very sturdy, it's roomy for Ethan when he sleeps, and when he wants to stretch, It lies down flat so is handy if im going on a long day out, i know that it wont affect his spine like a car seat can. It's so easy to put down and up, and it folds into one piece! although, it isn't the lightest of pushchairs, so it takes me a while to get up the stairs, but that doesn't bother me. I like the fact it has a bumper bar, i find it reassuring for some reason, and it's one quality i look for in a pram. I decided to change prams for a few reasons, and they are..

• It's not parent facing, and with Ethan only being 12 weeks old, i like to look at him.
• It's not the lightest of prams, and i have to rely on my partner to take it up and down the stairs
• It's not very heavy at the front which means that tipping backwards can be quite common when stuff is placed on the handle bars, but when again, this is a handy feature because it makes getting up curbs + bumps easier. 
• The rain cover looks stupid as hell, as it has to have room for a car seat to fit in as it is kind of a travel system, so it has a weird flappy bit. 

If this pram could change to parent facing as well as forward facing, i would be very happy.. but what can you do, :)

My most recent purchase was a quinny zapp xtra, i've only used it twice so i haven't go annoyed with it yet..

Well i started writting this a couple days ago, and now i've managed to use my quinny zapp xtra a few times. 

Review of my quinny Zapp Xtra (not with a folding seat) (bought second hand for £90)
    Well this pushchair is a delight! it is soo nice to push, and to maneuver. It's very sturdy like the mamas and papas luna, but it's not as light weight on the front which makes rearward tipping harder. It's quite short, but for me being only 5ft4 it is perfect, as for my partner who is 6ft+ it is a bit uncomfortable, but as i am the main pusher of the pram then my needs come before his.. haha! I like the fact that it is easy to attach toys to this pram, haven't been able to with the other two, and i like that you can purchase a bumper bar, but i don't think i am going too.   I love the fact this pram is parent facing! as it lightweight! it took me a few weeks to find a pram which has both these features, But finally! i have done it :D There is one thing i dislike about this pram, and that is that the footmuffs and cosytoes are really expensive! but i brought a cheap universal one, it does the job ey? :P 

I don't think i will be changing prams for a while, But who knows.. I am a pramaholic! :D

haha. 

thanks for reading,  byeezz 

Kirsty, and Ethan xx

Baby groups.. What a nightmare..

For any mum, no matter what age, baby groups are scary, unless you are over confident and know the people who are going to be there..  But when you are a teen mum it's even scarier.

Went to one last week which was more of a older baby group and met a nice lady who was 21 with a 15 month old little girl. She was very nice and actually spoke to me, Hardly anyone else did.. 

The Tuesday baby group is in a back room of a church.. and this room is massive.. and filled with mums sat around the edges of the room all facing the door ready to stare down their new mum...and luckily, i was their new victim. I rushed over and sat down trying to stop my face from going red. I was disappointed that i had the youngest baby as i was hoping to make friends with someone who had a similar aged baby who wasn't as dull as a parrot. About an hour later, i was tempted to leave until someone walked in with a newborn baby, This made my day. Her little girl was only 5 weeks old and i knew her from antenatal classes, i could tell she was nervous and she rushed over and sat next to me where we discussed labour and our lovely health visitor, who is a complete arse. 

After enjoying this group i decided it was time to tackle the snobby mean baby group...

As soon as i got there i regretted it.

We were in a tiny room with 11+ mums who i found very judgey. They all looked at me like i was a stray dog, and the worst thing about it was i had to stand up and introduce myself. URGH! i went bright red.. public speaking is not my thing.. at all.

I sat there, no one speaking to me, and Ethan sound asleep so i couldn't even play with him. I did notice two mums that looked nice with 12 week, + 14 week old babies who i really wanted to move closer too but there was no room for me. (next week i will be punctual and turn up on time so i can sit next to them). Some welsh lady came in to the group aswell to sing songs and read in welsh.. all the mums had to sing along. :(   

The best bit about this group was actually leaving,  The two mums i was on about before came up to me and asked me how i was, And for that i was extremely grateful because now i know that next week i will have someone to talk too. We talked about labour, + midwives.. all the stuff two mums talk about to start some bonding, it was truly lovely and i knew they weren't judging me on my age which was even better. 

Both these experiences have totally pushed me out of my comfort zone, and whether i am liking it or not.. i will let you know.

I would suggest to any mum, young or old, go to a group... if you don't like it then leave + never go again.. but there is a chance you will have fun + meet some lovely people.. You just have to get over the 'new mum to the group' phase. 

This is the life

Cuddled up with my boy favourite boys about to fall asleep. #loving life.
co sleeping may be looked down upon but there is nothing nicer than snuggling up together.
Very stressful day today, Staying at my mums for two nights while Kyle hangs out with his pals who he hardly ever sees now he isn't in college. Had to pretty much force him to invite Scott over, he has got to the stage where he isn't used to social situations which is very annoying indeed! Just want him to leave the flat once in a while! haha.
Had to rush to get myself, and Ethan ready.. and 10 minutes before i had to leave i remembered that i had wet clothes in the washing machine so i had to rush to put them out.. Ahh!
My mum made a funny comment today.. someone said 'wow, you've lost weight'.. and i said haha yeah, i lost loads during my pregnancy as i couldn't keep anything down and my mum said 'yeah, and now it creeping back on'.. hmmph.
Diet starts on Monday, i might start going to the gym once a week aswell.. who knows. Im worried because ill be sooo unfit and people will laugh.. only exercise I've done recently is swimming.. hmm.. might start going on ladies night again.
Ethan is very mellow today, except he had a very big poo which took him a while making him cry... alot.
Going to see my dad tomorrow, he wasn't very happy about me getting pregnant, and makes it obvious that he is disappointed in me..  i could have turned out sooo much worse..couldn't i? or is being a teen mum the lowest of the low?  surely Im better than a 18 year old who sniffs cocaine all the time?! atleast I've accepted that i have to grow up... and i have done that. Im trying my best to be the best mum, and fiance i can be.. 


Night :)